Psalm 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
I would dare say there’s not a person alive who hasn’t experienced internal struggles like this; they are part of the human condition. However, thinking they are God’s fault and accusing Him over them is hardly wise. Rather, the answer to such internal struggles is given by David himself in this very Psalm. Verse 5 says, “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.” As has been said, “Jesus is the answer. Now, what was your problem?” We struggle internally only to the degree we are not submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Such struggles have the very good purpose of showing us where and how we are not trusting Him, to teach us to make the choice, the heart commitment, to submit everything to Him. Frankly, that’s often easier said than done. We don’t have the wisdom or strength to do it fully ourselves, but there too God will supply all we need if we make that choice. It’s like forgiving people. Sometimes we literally can’t forgive someone, but if we confess that to God and ask Him to help us want to want to forgive, He will take it from there. There are levels of forgiveness that are indeed humanly impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The same thing may be said about absolutely every other problem we face as well. Apart from Christ we can do nothing, (John 15:5) but “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)
I’ve certainly had my internal struggles, but God has been more than faithful, He’s been gracious and loving. The past year has been a real time of further training in that. I have even had some sleepless nights. That’s certainly a waste of time and energy! I have learned more and more to release things to God, and as I have done so, He has poured faith into me. I don’t really think the faith came first: it was the choice to trust. That doesn’t mean I’ve become some great giant of faith, but rather that God has supplied the faith I needed when I made the choice to trust. Right now I am dealing with numbers of people who are struggling with this very issue. I need to help them understand that trusting God isn’t being irresponsible (which is what the devil wants them to think) but is simply recognizing our own limitations and that God is far greater than those limitations, because He is infinite. I must not let faith be an excuse to be lazy. Like Paul, I am to cooperate fully with what God wants to do in and through me. (Colossians 1:29) I must never forget that it’s not a dichotomy of faith and works, but rather that faith works – with both meanings of that statement.
Father, thank You for this clear reminder. Thank You for the various answers to prayer You’ve been showing us in recent days. I ask for physical and emotional strength and anointing for today. The meeting that is planned is important. May it be as joyful and loving as You want it to be, accomplishing Your will in and through each participant, so that Your plans may progress on Your schedule for Your glory. Thank You. Praise God!